Los Funerales Del Terror (1990)

Have you ever known an individual that you just loathed so much because they’re so awful? An individual that is so selfish, rude, obnoxious, and just plain evil in general? Well that's basically what Los Funerales Del Terror (aka "Funerals Of Terror") is about. 

Funerales De Terror is all about an individual that you immediately loathe because he’s a complete fucking jerk. Seriously. 

It’s late at night and an earthquake has just hit Mexico. A cop named Joel (Juan Valentin) and a prostitute try to leave their hotel room, but for whatever reason Joel’s body freezes and drops down to the floor. With no signs of life in him whatsoever—Joel is thought to be dead, but he’s actually still alive! Joel just can’t move any muscle whatsoever and has no sign of a heartbeat either. With only his eyes opened wide; we hear Joel internally saying “I’m alive!” & “I’m alive dammit!”, then proceeds to reflect on his life as his body is prepared for burial. 

As it turns out, our main frozen character Joel was a complete jerk since he was a dirty cop who drank too much, tortured suspects, causes a young cop to lose a leg, steals his partner’s girlfriend & marries her, then that marriage becomes a disaster because he’s very mean to his wife & kids. Joel even kicks out his mother in-law out of their home! Joel is a fucking jerk. As he lays in his coffin, Joel hopes for revival & promises to be better. Will he be given that chance though?

Los Funerales Del Terror reminded me of something I’ve seen before, but for whatever reason I just cannot remember what it is. It could of been an older movie or some TV show episode, but I just don’t remember sadly. Either way though, Funerales Del Terror is a mildly entertaining watch since it is very dramatic & very unusual as well. We spend almost an hour & a half watching Juan Valentin lying down with his eyes wide open as his character’s story unfolds & the people in his life attend his wake & funeral. Practically everyone in the wake & funeral hate Joel by the way. His little daughter is even too afraid to look at him. Or maybe she was just grossed out.

Juan Valentin played Joel very well. Juan Valentin had the acting talent in playing any type of character, including one of the biggest jerks ever to live. I also can’t forget to mention Juan Valentin sings in the movie of course! It's not a Juan Valentin movie without a little singing, right? He sings one song in the movie and that same song plays at the end of the movie with a sort of recap of the entire movie. Amazing, right? That one song that plays is called “Arboles De La Barranca” by the way. Also, whoever mixed the sound for the movie did a very poor job since there’s constant warping sounds. It made the already unusual movie even more unusual. 

Los Funerales Del Terror is a movie that will not be so memorable or epic, but regardless it’s a fun little watch. It pretty much plays out like an old Twilight Zone or One Step Beyond episode with a sort of lesson to be learned at the end.

The lesson learned here is to not be such a fucking jerk to everyone around you. Please.